Watch Your Step! SGA Adds “Increased Likelihood Of Type 2 Diabetes” To Seal Curses

Politics

In an attempt to further keep students off the University Seal outside of Langdon Hall, SGA decided that threatening students with type 2 diabetes would definitely keep feet off the seal and increase its longevity.

Here is the updated list of curses for stepping on the seal:

  1. You will not graduate in four years.
  2. You will not find the love of your life at Auburn.
  3. You will have seven generations of Alabama fans in your family.
  4. You will face an increased likelihood of getting type 2 diabetes between the ages of 35-50.

This addition has received praise from students and faculty alike and is considered one of SGA’s most innovative ideas to preserving campus artifacts.

“We are living in a very health conscious culture. Students care more about living healthy, happy lives. A type 2 diagnosis would definitely be enough to steer students clear of stepping on the seal,” stated Senator Johnathan Lipnicky.

At press time, an anonymous student asked if the new rule will affect previous offenders. A town hall meeting will be scheduled for a later date to discuss the potential ripple effect of this new curse.

“I graduated in 2001, and I accidentally stepped on the seal while giving a campus tour,” said Auburn resident and Alumnus Burt Scavelli. “Now, with two kids about to start middle school, I don’t think I can afford the copays and insulin that come with type 2 diabetes,” he added.

SGA agreed to hold a town hall meeting within the next two months to decide if this curse will affect former seal-steppers.